What are the aspects of psychological stress

Most of the psychological pressure we feel on a daily basis is inseparable from the major dimensions of real-life survival and development, interpersonal emotional connection, and inner self-identity. However, there is rarely a single source of pressure. Most of the pressure comes from several dimensions of feelings that are twisted together and only explode when they reach a certain critical point.

I have been working as a psychological service provider on the street for two years, and I have come across too many situations like this. Last month, a boy who had just worked for two years came for consultation. The pressure of department optimization at the end of the year was already hanging over his head, and his parents in his hometown called him every day to urge him to take the civil service exam and find a partner. A while ago, he posted on a circle of friends that he bought a house with full payment. He suffered from insomnia for almost a week. He said that he felt like he was being pressed by several rocks while lying in bed, and he didn't even have the strength to turn over.

In fact, the first thing that makes everyone feel real is the pressure of survival and development that is tied to real resources. Home loans, car loans, workplace KPIs, and entrance examinations are all obvious "hard thresholds."

However, many people will ignore the "soft pressure" hidden in interpersonal relationships. These pressures have no boundaries but are not small at all: complaints from partners, expectations from elders, hidden competition among colleagues, and even the gap caused by unconscious comparison with others' "perfect lives" when browsing social media are all sources of stress hidden in the cracks. A stay-at-home mother came over to talk before and said that everyone around her felt that she was enjoying herself not having to go to work. Only she knew that after dealing with her children's crying and her mother-in-law's thoughts every day, she finally lay down on the bed and found out that her former colleague had been promoted, and she had to hide under the quilt and cry for half an hour. This kind of emotional burden that no one could see would become more likely to drag people down over time.

There is also a lot of pressure that is inward, stemming from the gap between your expectations for yourself and your actual status: you originally thought you could balance work and family, but in the end you failed to take care of either; the trip you planned for half a year was ruined because of unexpected overtime work, and you can't even find a reason to blame others. You can only compete with yourself. This kind of pressure on self-identity does not even need external pressure. You can feel depressed just staring at your unfinished to-do list.

Nowadays, there are actually two different voices regarding the source of stress. One believes that all pressure is imposed by the external environment and can be solved by completely "laying down" and lowering expectations. The other believes that stress is all caused by personal cognitive biases and that everything will be fine if you "just be more open-minded." If you come into contact with more cases, you will find that both views are a bit one-sided. Most of the time, stress is intertwined with internal and external factors. It can neither be completely eliminated by simply rejecting external demands, nor can it be completely digested by adjusting one's mentality. In fact, psychological pressure is like a bag you carry with you. Some are books and computers that are crammed in for work and study, some are emotional baggage accumulated unconsciously when getting along, and some are the obsession of "I should be better" that you secretly put in. If you carry it for a long time, it will become heavy. Occasionally stop and look through the bag to take out the things you don't need to bring, so that your steps can be lighter.