Psychological Counseling Teacher Li

It's useful, but the premise is that you don't treat it as a magic medicine that can cure all diseases, and don't treat a counselor as a life mentor who can make all decisions for you. All effects are the result of the two of you working together little by little.

The first time I met her was three years ago, when I accompanied a friend who was so anxious that he had insomnia for a week for a first consultation. When I opened the door, the first thing I noticed was not the sand table and OH card that should be found in a standard consulting room. It was the cat's paw cushion on the armrest of the sofa that could be scratched. It was scratched by "Nian Gao", an orange cat she had raised for ten years. The cat now squats on the cat climbing frame at the door of the consulting room every day. When encountering visitors who are afraid of cats, it obediently hides in the storage room. It is very humane.

Controversy over psychological counseling has never stopped in the market. Some people say that charging hundreds of yuan for an hour of chatting is purely an IQ tax. Others say that after one consultation, you feel like you are a different person. Teacher Li said that both situations are quite normal. If you are just under a lot of pressure to finish the project recently and want to find someone who will not judge you casually to complain, and you feel your chest is not blocked after crying once, then it is useful. ； If you have been trapped in an emotion for two or three years, struggling to even get up and eat normally, and you still expect to be completely healed after just one chat, that in itself is an unrealistic expectation. The opinions of different schools in the industry are quite different. Psychoanalytic-oriented counselors are more willing to accompany you to dig out the roots of your early experiences, while cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)-oriented counselors are more concerned with adjusting current behaviors. No one is right or wrong, only whether it is suitable for you. She has met clients who are particularly averse to talking about their family of origin. She said, "I don't want to talk about my parents. Don't tell me anything. It's all my fault in childhood." Previously, a colleague said that her "non-procedural" consultation was too casual and did not meet the standards of evidence-based psychology. She did not refute it. She laughed and said to us in private, "Evidence-based is a reference book for writing papers, not a standard answer for clients. He is willing to go out and buy an iced American this week. It is more significant than the score drop after doing ten sets of scales."

Oh, by the way, a girl who works in Internet operations came to her last month. She had had two consultations elsewhere before, and the other person asked her to make a "list of personal strengths." She racked her brains and couldn't make a list. Instead, she felt that she couldn't even "get better" and even collapsed. The first time she came, she sat on the sofa, clutching the cat paw cushion, and cried for forty minutes. Teacher Li didn't interrupt her, nor did she say useless words like "Don't be sad." After she cried, he handed her a cup of warm honey water, and asked her if there was a moment when she felt a little better when she was crying. The girl was stunned and said that when she held the cushion just now, it felt soft, as if her chest was not so congested anymore. Teacher Li said that we should not do other tasks this week. If you feel uncomfortable when you go home, just find something soft to hold on to and cry. There is no need to force yourself to "get better." When the girl came back on the third week, she carried a fluffy bunny bag. She said she felt uncomfortable and pinched the bunny ears twice. She was able to sleep for five hours straight.

After fifteen years of consulting, she has never raised sky-high consulting fees, and has always reserved two low-priced public welfare places for recent graduates. Some people say she is stupid and refuses to accept high-fee orders. She always said that when she first entered the industry, she followed the supervisor to do public welfare consulting. She had seen too many children standing at the door of the consulting room hesitating with tens of dollars in their pockets, and she could help every one. I asked her what her most fulfilling moment was, and she said it was a pack of hand-roasted coffee beans she received last year. The sender was a visitor four years ago. The young man was severely depressed at the time, and at the worst point he couldn't even get out of bed. He had been consulting for more than two years, and it was interrupted three times. Every time he came back, Teacher Li didn't say "Why have you regressed again?", but just said "Just come back." The note read, "Before, you said that the American food I brewed was better than the one in the coffee shop downstairs. Now that I have opened a small restaurant, I can bring rice cakes to you when I have time."

What bothers her most is that people call her "expert" and "Teacher Li" one after another. Visitors who are familiar with her call her Lao Li. If you ask her now what psychological counseling is, she will most likely not recite the academic definition to you. She will only point to the half-dead eucalyptus by the window that is still sprouting new buds: "Look at this thing, it won't die even if you forget to water it for half a month. If you water it too much, the leaves will turn yellow. Isn't the same with people's emotions? I just want to help you check whether your pot of flowers has lacked light or received too much water recently. How much water should be poured and how long should it be exposed to the sun? In the end, it is up to you. ”